to be at ease
of christmas eve
under darkened skies
where i think of you
like wine nights
easy cries
in the midst of memories
where we’re spinning
out of control
of hands we used to hold
do we linger or do we fall
do we hold or do we crawl
from past trauma of what it was
and i sip this like light
like i feel for smaller times
instead of dark nights
where i used to think of you
in shadows of corners
on balconies
where we’re hiding the truth
in which i dealt with you
throwing knives at walls
to necks where you
know what i’m talking about
and i miss the dark
as i long for light
because without dark
i do not know time
i do not know past
i do not know bad
i do not know what i truly have
you in mind
and it’s you all the time
in past we make present